The Bucket List
by DaenerysFireAndBlood
Summary: Maya has once again taken a hit to the bit of hope and happiness she had left; feeling lost and unsure Maya feels there's no hope for her... but what happnes when Josh decides to help her find herself? What happens when the one thing that makes her feel the most alive is being with the guy that's determined to see her have her happiness again? Joshaya college AU. Older Maya.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys so this my first ever Joshaya fanfic, not my first fanfic just my first for this couple. I have to admit they kind of snuck up on me. Didn't really ship them, but then I re-watched GMW and saw the really intense hidden chemistry between Uriah and Sabrina. Plus Uriah isn't in GMW enough so I wanted to write this to fill my need for more Joshaya. So I hope you guys like this and are willing to take this journey with me!**

 **This will be AU in the sense that Maya is older than what she is in the show. Josh is 20 and Maya is 19. Please keep that in mind as you read. Hope you guys enjoy!**

 *****DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM GMW. THEY BELONG TO DISNEY.*****

* * *

Things were different; Maya was no longer the broken little girl she used to be; now she was Maya the broken adult that has yet to find her open door. The moment she thought she did, things went south for her. Everyone always left her, chipped away pieces of her until nothing was left. People somehow always found a way to hurt her; to leave her picking up the pieces.

She wasn't strong enough for all of this. A sophomore at NYU and she still hadn't learnt her lesson. To have hope is to only set you up for disappointment if things didn't go well later on.

Maya looked down at her sketch pad. It was blank, which had never happened to her before; she'd been like this since spring semester had started up.

She usually exploded with creativity every time she was hurt or disappointed. But as she looked down at the white page she realized it represented everything she felt; unsure.

She sighed and closed her eyes listening to the rustle of dried up leafs of the tree she was laying against, and occasionally the orangey yellow leafs would fall around her. The constant sounds of taxi's off in the distance and the bustle of students walking around campus.

She was starting to relax a bit when she felt her phone start to vibrate and picked it up when she saw who it was.

"Hey Riles." She answered.

"Maya! How are you, how's school?" Her best friend asked energetically. Good ole Riley Matthews her eternally optimistic and incredibly peppy best friend.

Maya sighed. "It was fine, just finished my art two class. Now I'm currently sitting by the benches under our favorite tree. Doing absolutely nothing." She added indignantly.

"You're still upset, and you're outside in the cold weather, it's not exactly warm right now Maya." Riley pointed out, her voice serious now.

Maya huffed. "No Riles, I'm not mad. I didn't mean to sound so bitchy, I'm just… lost. I mean you're not here to help me deal with all my issues. I miss you. Plus I have my jacket on I'll be fine."

"I miss you too Maya. I didn't want to leave, but this was an offer I couldn't pass up. If it makes you feel any better I'm hurt by it too, on both accounts."

Maya played with the metal binds of her sketch pad. "I get it I really do. I just they hurt me Riles and I don't know why I feel so… unsure."

"I know you do, but if there's anyone that can come out of this it's you."

Maya closed her eyes, she wish Riley were here. Things seemed so much worse without her best friend there to help her.

"I don't know Riles, its different this time. I don't want to trust anyone. I don't want to hope, it'll only lead to disappointment."

"You have to Maya; it's not the end for you. You're going to get everything you want out of life. You can't let people who hurt you keep haunting your every step."

"Yeah…" Maya sighed. "Anyways what are you up to right now?" Maya asked trying to change the subject.

"It's 7 p.m. here, just got back to my room after I took a tour of the city. Barcelona is gorgeous Maya, I hope one day you get to see the world." Riley said hopeful.

Maya bit down on her bottom lip, her hand holding her phone to her ear growing warm. Yeah she hoped one day she could too.

"Me too Riles." Maya answered, and looked down to her left wrist to look at her watch.

"Hey I have to go; I have to clock in at 1:30. I'll talk to you soon."

"Ok, love you Maya. Promise me that you'll try not to let this thing stop you from being the best Maya you can be?" Riley's voice grew soft on the other line.

"I'll try, and I love you too Riles." Maya said her goodbye and hung up her phone putting it back in her pocket. She closed her sketchbook and put it in her messenger bag, getting up and walked straight to her residential hall.

She walked alone; she didn't really know many people at school. Farkle was off at MIT and Lucas went back down to Texas after pappy Joe passed away leaving him his family's ranch and attending UT in the meantime, and Riley… Riley attended NYU with Maya their freshman year, but she'd gotten a chance to study their entire sophomore year abroad. It was an offer she couldn't pass up… but man did the offer come at the worst possible moment.

She needed her best friend, she was hurt and she felt hopeless. Riley has been the only constant in her life, the only person that could ever get through to her; especially when she was feeling this lost.

The only person she knew at school was Josh, and even they didn't talk as much as she would've liked. He was a Junior so usually their schedules never coincided. She still saw him and they always talked, she just wished they could see more of each other.

He was sweet; she always remembers the intense feelings she had for him when they were younger. He'd always been a grade ahead of her and every time the Matthews would come up to visit from Philadelphia Maya always jumped at the chance to see Josh.

Over the years they became friends and even though she still didn't see him as much, she was glad that at least someone familiar was in her general vicinity.

Maya walked up to her dorm room and saw her new roommate on her laptop. She'd met her only a few weeks ago before the semester started. Quiet but she was really nice, they never really talked but they got along well. Thank God for small miracles. After Riley left she was afraid she'd end up with someone she couldn't stand.

Maya walked over to her dresser and picked out her uniform for work. She was a part-time barista at a coffee shop a few blocks from school. Even with a full-ride scholarship Maya still needed to make extra cash.

With only a small nod of acknowledgement to her roommate, she walked out and headed out towards her job.

* * *

A few hours had passed since she clocked in and Maya was annoyed as hell, ready to go back to her dorm room and just sleep.

It was 9 p.m. and business was starting to die down only a few people sitting down drinking their coffee either reading or on their laptops.

Maya had a damp cloth in her hand and she was cleaning the counter when she heard the ding of the door signaling another customer.

Maya stopped cleaning when she saw who it was… none other than tall dark and handsome, Mr. pouty lips, blue-eyed Joshua Matthews. He was alone and when he noticed her behind the counter he gave her an endearing smile.

She wondered why he was here, this was the last place she thought she'd ever seen him. He hated coffee….

He walked up to the counter and sat down on one of the stools.

"What's up stranger?" He said easy going, his deep voice a familiarity she didn't know she needed. He crossed his arms over the counter and leaned in closer.

Maya held the cloth in one of her hands as she placed them out beside her gripping the edges.

"Not much, just ready to leave this place." She answered.

His blue eyes were gleaming with the ambient light of the shop. "Bad day?"

"You could say that." Maya felt sad, she was usually a lot more animated with Josh. Their easy friendship was something she always enjoyed, but lately there hasn't been a lot of room for any other emotion but sadness.

" I haven't seen you since last week, how's everything going?" Josh asked the look in his eyes calculating and intrigued.

"Everything's fine, classes were great. Haven't being doing much since… just school and work." Maya answered trying to keep things short. As much as she liked Josh, she wasn't in the mood for talking.

Josh squinted his blue eyes, almost like he was trying to figure her out.

"Okay." Josh smacked his hands down on the wooden counter top, startling Maya a bit. "What's going Maya, why are you being so short with me… I usually can't get you to stop talking?" He asked crossing his arms, waiting for her to answer his dark brows raised.

"What are you talking about, I'm fine." She insisted.

"Bull. Come on what's going on in the pretty little head of yours. I've talked to you for all of-" Josh looked down at his watch for affect. "One minute and I can tell something is up with you so spill."

Maya groaned and rolled her eyes. "Josh, I'm so not in the mood."

"Well too bad because I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on. That alone should tell you how concerned I am since I hate the smell of coffee." He said with determination.

Maya pursed her lips as she stared at the blue eyed guy.

"If you hate coffee so much what are you doing here?" Maya answered her question with a question; something she knew annoyed the hell out of people.

Josh grew serious. "Riley is worried about you."He answered his previous energetic attitude gone. "And frankly I'm starting to become concerned as well."

Maya rolled her eyes again, and turned to look away from him. Things grew quiet, only the sound of the coffee machines and the soft clicking sounds of someone typing engulfed the quiet atmosphere. She stayed quiet and moved around making him a hot chocolate. She needed to buy herself some time.

She should've known the way her and Riley's previous phone call ended that she'd do something to make sure she was ok. She should be irritated and a little angry that she sent someone to babysit her, but she knew she did this only because she cared.

She finished the hot chocolate and turned back to look at Josh who was patiently waiting for her.

She placed the foam cup in front of him.

"Thanks but you know I don't like coffee."

Maya grinned, and by the tightness in her cheeks it was clear her facial muscles were out of practice, but alas it was genuine. The first one in what felt like forever. "It's hot chocolate uncle boing, your favorite. This a coffee shop, but we don't just sell coffee." She answered using her old nickname for him, and just like that the tension was gone. He gave her a lighthearted smirk.

He picked up the plastic cup and took a sip of it; Maya just stayed quiet waiting for him to talk.

A few seconds passed before he set his cup down, glancing back at her. "This is good, thanks."

"Welcome."

"So are you going to tell me what's going on?" Josh asked, not wasting any time.

"How much did Riley tell you?"

Josh took another sip of his hot chocolate. "Not much, she just asked me to come and check up on you, said you might need someone to talk to." He paused. "I know I haven't seen you much since we started the semester, but you know you can talk to me if there's something wrong? Even though she called me, if I'd known something's wrong I would've come on my own without Riley telling me." He said his eyes showing sincerity in what he was saying.

"I know it's just really hard talking about, I've never really been great at expressing my feelings with words." Maya said her eyes moving away from his intense gaze.

"Try, I've got time. Finished my homework and I don't have class until twelve tomorrow." He insisted.

"I have to close."

"I'll wait. I can walk you back to campus?" He suggested.

"You're going to wait an hour?" Maya raised her brow in question, pointing to her watch.

Josh looked down to his watch grinned at Maya. "Sure, besides you shouldn't be walking alone at night. It'll give me peace of mind."

* * *

An hour later Maya and her co-worker were making sure everything was cleaned and all the machines were turned off. She looked out the windows to see Josh waiting for her to come outside.

She took off her apron and waited till her co-worker walked out of the shop. She grabbed the keys and turned the sign on the door to closed before she walked out the chill of the breezed hitting her face as she opened the door. She locked up and turned towards Josh that had an easy smile on his face.

She suddenly felt an overwhelming need to run. She was afraid; if there was anything that Maya hated was opening up to people other than Riley. There weren't a lot of people she trusted, and even though she and Josh were friends she didn't know if she could tell him everything.

They started walking in silence her mind racing. She clutched her bag tighter and tried to distract herself by fixing the beanie on her head.

"So, what's been going on Maya?" Josh asked suddenly.

Maya took a second to get her thoughts in order. Could she handle trusting another person, only to give the power to hurt her like almost everyone else?

"Come on Maya you've known me for years, I don't mean to sound pushy or nosy, but I see it in your eyes. Riley isn't here and I know how attached at the hip you two are. You can trust me." He said earnestly.

Maya looked up at him; since she was super short he towered over her. She sighed, her hands clutching onto her coat tighter.

"That's the problem Josh, that's always been the problem… trusting people." Maya said it. It felt weird confessing such a huge insecurity of hers to someone other than Riley, but it felt good. Felt like a small piece of the weight on her shoulders lifted off her. Her initial fear all but gone.

"You can trust me. Like I said before I know we don't talk as much as we used to, but I still care, I always have."

Maya sighed, and melted slightly at the sight of Josh's pleading face.

"After the fall semester, during Christmas break, I'm not sure if you heard, but my mom and Shawn finalized their divorce. He left after promising years ago when they got married that he would never leave my mom, or leave me. And to put the cherry on top of all that crap, my boyfriend of five years cheated on me." Maya spilled before she could have another second to change her mind. She tried to ignore the stinging pain in her chest.

Leave it to her to get the short end of the stick on this thing called life. It was always one thing after another. She swore she felt like something was wrong with her. First her father, Shawn, and that ass hole that had taken five years of her life she could never take back. Not to mention Lucas and Farkle were also gone, and Riley was in a different country.

It seemed like most people she loved just eventually left her.

"I'm so sorry Maya. I had no idea. After the semester ended I went back to Philly and I didn't think to pay attention to what was going on over here. I'm sorry that I didn't call you or do something to try and help you feel better. I hate seeing you this way." Josh sounded sad.

How great, the last thing she needed was someone feeling sorry for her. She didn't need that she already throws a pity party for herself every time she's reminded of all the crap that's happened to her.

She figured Josh could feel her apprehension to his words because he spoke up again."If it makes you feel any better I never liked that douche bag you were dating, he doesn't deserve your sadness Maya."

Maya huffed. "I've heard that before." Riley, her mother, everyone told her she was too good for Evan. She never believed them. The common denominator in everything was her. She was the only constant every time someone disappointed her.

"Hey none of that blondie." He lightly chastised, looking down at her as they continued to walk the streets of Manhattan.

"Listen, it's not your fault he cheated. People who cheat have no self-worth Maya. Don't let this guy win by degrading yourself… I know how much you artists love to be martyrs." He joked.

Maya let out a small breathy laugh at his last jab. "It just hurts. I've been with this guy for five years. I lost myself so completely in him that I don't even know who I am anymore. Also Shawn leaving is just another confirmation that my life stinks, and that there's clearly something wrong with me." She confessed miserably and a little uneasy.

"Stop." Josh stopped their walking as he placed his hand on her upper arm, making her look up into his blue eyes. His gaze was intense. He had a solemn look in his face.

"Shawn leaving has nothing to do with you. That is something that happened between your mom and him. It's their relationship, and while I'm sure Shawn loves you, sometimes the pain of falling out of love with someone or for whatever reason he left is something that's hard to face. Especially when you were married to that person."

Maya looked away, Josh's hand tightening softly. She knew deep down he was right, but it was still hard to believe the thing's people said. It's difficult when all your life it's been one let down after another, she's been conditioned to accept the fact that people leave her eventually.

"I lost the only father figure I've ever had, other than your brother. What's worse I feel like I've lost myself. I can't even draw up enough inspiration to draw or make music anymore. Every time I invest my time and dedication to someone I'm always the one to end up with my face plastered to the hypothetical floor."

Josh let go of her arm and grabbed onto her wrist making sure he had her full attention.

"Ok then, how about you invest in yourself this time?" He suggested pausing. "Dedicate time and energy in yourself."

"I-… I don't- what?"

"Stop trying to fit yourself into the lives of others; don't worry about anyone else for while but you. When you do things, do it because it'll make you happy not anyone else. Learn to love yourself, and take care of _you._ "

Maya was taken aback.

"I wouldn't even know where to start."

Josh smiled. "What if I help you?" He offered, his smile returning in full force. "I'll help you find yourself. I'll be there for you, until you feel ready to trust people. Until you realize that no matter how many times life kicks you down you have to keep going, because we only have one life to live. So how about it?"

"You really want to help me? I mean what about school and everything else?" She said apprehensively.

He squeezed his hand on her wrist and before she knew it he was holding onto both of her wrists looking straight at her. She could see every breath he took, the chill of night hitting them.

"Maya I can make time." He persisted.

She realized looking up at him she'd never really gotten over him. Her childhood feelings for him had always been there, and before she'd met Evan in high school she wondered if she'd ever have a chance with Josh. Now here they were so close to each other she could see the different shades of blue in his eyes despite it being dark out.

It was tough, trusting people. After what Evan did, no matter what lingering feelings she has for Josh, she didn't know if it could ever amount to anything; but as she stood there a few inches shorter than him. Looking up to his handsome face, while his warm hands were wrapped around her wrists. She knew those feelings weren't just lingering… they had always been there. She loved Evan, she was in love with him at one point, but he'd hurt her and now she couldn't stand the guy. Other than complete anger towards her ex, there was also misery. She'd given her all in the relationship, and now she felt like pieces of who she thought she was are gone.

This realization hit her hard, and she was sure Josh felt the way she slightly tensed up because he let go of her wrists.

Even though she'd just had this epiphany about her feelings, she wasn't ready, too much stuff had happened Maya wouldn't know how to let someone in the same way she'd let Evan. Plus no one could guarantee if Josh even felt the same way.

Either way, Josh was right. She needed to find herself again. She lost who she was as a person when she was with Evan. She trusted Shawn and believed in the promise he made years ago, once again her heart earning a blow where it hurt the most.

She'd been disappointed by the two people who had meant a lot to her at a point in her life. It was time she try and move on. It was time to learn to forgive herself, before she could go on with her life.

"Okay." She breathed.

"Okay." Josh smiled triumphantly.

* * *

 **Well I hope yall liked chapter one! So clearly this is a little different. Maya and Josh are friends (Not for long yall know I'll give in and have them kiss soon), and well Maya is older. I wanted to explore a more mature story and I hope yall are ok with that. Let me know what you guys think if yall want me to continue or not, reviews are what give me my drive to continue, so please take time and let me know what yall think and if you just want to talk. Anyways love all of you and I'll see you for chapter 2!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Guys! Thank you so much for your wonderful response to the first chapter. I really hope you all enjoyed reading it as I did writing it! I just want to make sure y'all know that y'all are appreciated! So thank you!**

* * *

After Josh had walked her back to campus, and had a very in depth talk about everything. She felt like even though the future was unsure she could possibly move on from the hurt that she'd been dealing with for the past few months.

It was Saturday, so five days had gone by ever since their conversation after work, and neither Josh nor she had anything to do, so they'd decided to meet up today.

She was currently sitting crisscross on her roller chair trying to work on some stuff for her art class while she waited on him. Her chin was resting on her palm as she held a pencil on the other waiting for anything to come to her. She had to create a drawing that brought out emotions in her, and just like a few days ago the page in front of her remained blank. She found no inspiration what-so-ever. Her emotions were kind of all over the place, and she just couldn't concentrate long enough for an image to make its way to her sketchbook.

She was taken out of her thoughts when she heard a knock at her door. "Who is it?" She called out from her chair, lifting her head from her hand.

"It's the incredibly handsome and charismatic Joshua Gabriel Matthews."

She grinned so big at his announcement, how he'd managed to make her smile when she was going through a hard time was beyond her. She'd be lying to herself if she didn't admit that hearing his deep soothing voice didn't do something to her emotions.

"Come in."

Her door opened, and Josh poked his head before coming in. His signature smirk plastered on his face. He was wearing a grey hoodie with a leather jacket over it and of course his blue jeans. He looked good, and suddenly she wished she'd dressed better. She was wearing a grey loose sweater dress, with black tights underneath.

He walked in a pulled up her roommates chair and sat next to her. "So where are we going to go today short stuff?" He teased.

She gave him a mock glare; she loved it when he called her that. No one else but her friends and family could ever point out the fact that she was vertically challenged.

"I don't know, this was your idea." She answered her legs still crossed underneath her. He glanced down at her sketchbook.

"How long have you been sitting here trying to draw?" He asked curiously, as he scooted closer to her.

"About an hour. I usually get an image in my head right away and then I just draw it down or paint… but I can't. It's been hard, and this assignment is due on Monday." She huffed dejectedly.

"So don't waste your time worrying about it. I got an idea, how's about we start with a bucket list and we can try and cross out everything one by one."

"I don't have a bucket list Josh. I try to avoid any sort of expectations." She said nonchalantly.

"Then let's make one right now!" Josh sat up on the chair reaching over her to get her notebook and a pen. He placed the notebook in front of them and started writing.

Maya moved her head to the side to see what he was writing, and felt a small smile growing on her face. He'd written 'Short stuffs bucket list of things to do so she can find herself and realize how amazing she is'…

"That's the longest title I've ever read." She teased, and he gave her a cheesy smile.

"Ok so give me a list of things you want to do." He said holding the pen in his hands waiting to write.

She puckered her lips in thought. "Some of them are a bit over the top. Things that aren't just easily done."

"That's fine just list everything, literally anything you want to do and we can work on the easiest ones first." He encouraged.

Maya thought about all the things she's ever wanted to do. She's lived her whole life in New York, yet there were so many things she never got to do, because money was always tight growing up.

"I've always wanted to go all the way up the Empire State building. I'm kind of afraid of heights so that's something I'd like to get over." She put out.

"What Maya Hart afraid of heights?" He teased, as he wrote down on the notebook.

"Ha ha." She laughed sardonically.

"Ok keep going." He encouraged.

Maya sat back all the way in her chair glancing up and started listing a whole bunch of stuff that she'd like to experience. "I've thought about singing or playing guitar on the streets of New York. I want to paint quick portraits of random people. Go horseback riding-"

Maya paused before bashfully whispering her next goal. "I want to pet a penguin."

Maya heard Josh chuckle. "Are you laughing at me?" She accused half-heartedly.

"I'm sorry; I was just imagining you petting a penguin, gotta admit it'd be super adorable." He chided. Maya grabbed her sketchbook and smacked him lightly over the shoulder, earning her another laugh.

"Ok so you have five things you want to do so far…"

Maya bit her lip trying to think of more things. "I want to leave a spontaneous note inside of a book, so that someone can read and feel inspired by it. I want to go down to the children's shelter and take one kid out to have the greatest day of his or her life. Oh! Go camping, I've never been camping, I want to take a hike." Maya paused as she saw Josh furiously scribbling down everything she was saying.

He lifted his head and she saw the slight look of awe in his eyes, she felt butterflies erupt in her stomach at his expression. He nodded telling her to continue.

Maya bit her lip and she could feel her cheeks grow warm… "I want to dance in the rain." She whispered. That one was a secret not even Riley knew. It wasn't like it was a big deal or anything, but ever since she started dating she'd hoped that one day a guy would dance with her in the rain. It was cheesy and so cliché, but even Maya Hart had her moments.

Josh glanced at her a playful look in his eyes. "Who knew you were such a hopeless romantic."

"Whatever, I said 'I' wanted to dance in the rain." _Lies._ "Not 'we'." _Lie_.

For some reason after she said that she felt her heart sink, she saw the look of playfulness leave Josh's eyes for a second before he caught himself and went back to looking down at the notebook. She chastised herself, of course she'd love to dance in the rain with him, and she'd be lying if she never imagined him in that scenario with her.

"Anything else, something big that you've always wanted to do?"

"Well I've always wanted to travel and paint what I see. Anything that inspires me. I want to go to Paris and paint the Eiffel Tower, to Rome and paint people sitting on the Spanish steps. Visit temples in Indonesia, and paint elephants from India. I want to learn how to dance Flamenco in Spain… go on a Safari…" Maya stopped when she saw Josh looking up at her, she felt her cheeks grow warm and she looked down at her fidgeting hands on her lap.

She cleared her throat. "Sorry, I got carried away." She apologized.

Josh looked taken aback. "No don't apologize, these are amazing. Maya I will try and help you do everything on this list."

Maya felt her heart leap and it wasn't only because of this gorgeous guy, but because she knew that he understood. He knew that hope was something so fragile to her nowadays. Trusting someone was something that she struggled to do, but he hadn't promised her that they'd do everything on her list… just that he'd _try_ … and that was enough for her. It spoke volumes.

"So it's barely 9 a.m. what do you say to crossing off one of these things on your list?" He said dropping the pen on top of the notebook and turned his chair, placing his arms behind his head.

"Which one do we do first?" She pointed at the notebook.

Josh sat up again and looked down at the list, she saw him smirk as he looked over the page.

"I know!" He said suddenly. "Let's go with the first one." He lifted the notebook and held it out in front of her.

"You had to pick this one." She grumbled, and there it was in bold and surprisingly neat handwriting 'Go to the top of the Empire State building'…

She took a deep breath and tried to relax the anxious feeling building up in her chest. She was terrified of heights and it was something that she's always wanted to face head on. Though she was pretty much having an internal panic attack about actually having to do it.

She let out a small huff in defeat. "Fine ok let's do it."

"Great, now cheer up blondie, this'll be fun! Let me just use your laptop to buy the tickets."

"You don't have to buy them both Josh; I can pay for my own. I'd feel terrible." She said.

"Nonsense, this whole bucket list thing was my idea so I'm buying the tickets." He winked at her, and turned to look at her laptop. "And by the way, bring your sketchbook with you." He added while his fingers typed away.

She cringed inwardly at the thought of being thousands of feet above the ground; they were really going to do this. She was going to kill Riley.

* * *

Maya was walking slower and slower as they got closer to towering building. It was always a haunting thing to see whenever it was in her line of sight. As an artist she could appreciate the work it must have been to make such a unique and large building… but as someone who was as vertically challenged as she, who literally stood at five foot zero; this thing was terrifying.

Sadly, she couldn't back out now, Josh had bought tickets to the main and top deck and if she chickened out now she'd feel terrible for making him spend that much money. As she continued to look up she wondered how people didn't faint at the mere sight of it. She might be melodramatic, but damn could anyone blame her? The building had 102 freaking floors, she prayed to God she wouldn't faint… or worse get sick on the way up.

"Maya?" Josh's deep voice broke her out of her fear induced daze.

Maya saw Josh turn to look at her from a few feet ahead, and that's when she realized she'd stopped walking and people were staring at her as they walked passed them. She could only imagine the look on her face as she gazed up at the golden building that looked grey in the winter weather towering over New York.

Josh walked towards her his face holding an expression of concern. "Hey if you're too afraid to do this, we can do something else." He said coming closer to her, just like the other day when he walked her back to campus after work, and just like before her heart started doing back flips at his close proximity. "The point is to make you happy not to completely traumatize you."

She let out a nervous laugh.

Things between them were always so intense, but she pushed it aside when she met Evan, and now there was no cheating liar in stopping her from feeling what she was feeling as she looked at Josh's gorgeous expressive blue eyes holding nothing but concern for her. _Curse her inability to have any sort of control over her emotions when it came to him._

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "No you're right; I need to do things that'll make me happy. And even though I'm sure I'll be terrified most of the time, after we come down I'll feel amazing about finally facing my fear of heights… so let's do this thing… before I change my mind." She added.

Josh's smirk grew and he nodded.

"Alright then." He turned to face forward and he stood next to Maya offering her his arm. She looked at it for a second and just as quickly wrapped her tiny gloved hand around his right bicep.

They walked together and she was closer to him than when he was standing in front of her. His leather clad bicep was warm and her left side was pressed against his right… and it felt… so natural.

Then she realized that he'd done something not even Riley could do. He had made her forget her pain over Shawn and Evan. He'd distracted her from her self-pity and her sadness, and for that she was super grateful.

* * *

They were now inside the elevator waiting for it to fill up so they could head up to the 86th floor. She wasn't holding onto him anymore and she could feel her nervous tick of tapping her fingers start up.

She was biting her lip looking everywhere trying to distract herself from what she was about to do.

Her hands were tapping away on her messenger bag, she saw the elevator dude look at her, when she noticed that it was pretty loud. Then she felt Josh's warm hand grab onto her tapping one, and the warmth of his hand shot up her arm and gave her goose bumps. She was pretty sure part of the reason she got goose bumps was because of the way he was holding onto her hand, his thumb lightly stroking the top.

She snuck a glance up at him and saw that he was looking forward too, but she could see a slight smirk on his pouty lips. She wanted to wipe that smirk right off his face… he knew what he was doing. That asshole. _That very attractive asshole_.

The elevator slowly got more crowded and by the time that she could adjust to having so many people in a tiny confined space she heard the ding of the elevator as the doors shut and she felt the sudden lurch of the elevator being lifted. Unconsciously she tightened her hold on Josh's hand and closed her eyes trying to breathe, and calm down her racing heart.

When she opened her eyes it was only seconds when she heard another ding signaling that they had made it to the 86th floor. She and Josh were cramped into the corner of the elevator but as the doors slid open she felt a whoosh of cold air hit them, a lot colder than down on the ground.

She slowly and regretfully pulled her hand away from Josh to get the gloves she had stashed in her coat pocket and put them back on.

The elevator was emptying out and then once she finished putting her gloves back on she saw Josh's hand move back down to take hers again. She didn't know if she could handle anymore of this. It was like sensory overload.

She was about to face one of her biggest fears which heightened everything, and Josh holding her hands was kicking it up a notch, but she welcomed it, because despite it, it gave her a small comfort of knowing that she wasn't doing this alone.

She was doing something for herself, and this genuinely kind human being beside her had volunteered to see her through this small adventure.

He pulled her through the crowd and onto the main deck towards the fenced area looking out towards the city. When they stepped up she gasped. Her fear, her anxiousness all of it was gone, the only thing that was left was a complete feeling of awe.

She still held onto Josh's hand as she stared out at New York, she felt like she was on top of the world, which in a way she kind of was. The chilly wind blowing her hair from her face, she could feel her nose and cheeks grow warm and she was sure she resembled one of the dwarves from Snow White but in that moment she couldn't care less.

She felt alive, her heart beating rapidly not in fear but in adrenaline. All of her senses were heightened and she had a burning desire to commit every single building to memory. To memorize the lines that created one of the most beautiful man-mad landscapes she'd ever seen.

No matter if the sky was grey or light snow fell down it was all the same to her; incredibly breathtaking.

She felt Josh move and she peeled her eyes from the scene to look up at him, and smiled when she saw what she thought was the same look she had a few seconds ago.

"Thank you." She whispered so quietly that the people around them couldn't hear, as the wind carried it away.

He looked down at her his face holding wonder. He tightened his fingers around hers and she could see his answer in his eyes. The moment feeling surprisingly intimate, she was sure the people around them would mistake them for a couple.

"I hope this makes you happy Maya… after all, this is what it's all for. For you to be happy." He said so earnestly, as they continued to hold onto each other's hands.

"I am happy. Thank you for making me do this. Haven't felt this… content in a long time."

He grinned looking down, and they both turned to look out at the city below them.

After what felt like forever Josh grabbed her attention. "You ready for the rest?"

"Yeah."

...

By the time they made it to the top deck Maya was the first one out and she stepped up the large windows. Much like before she felt that same sense of marvel and wonder; though unlike on the main deck they were now indoors.

What shame that the human eye could only see so far. She felt Josh step behind her and she felt that same electricity, if they were going to try and do everything on her bucket list she had to learn to get used to being around him, but deep down she knew that was something that was never going to happen.

Maya suddenly felt the urge to draw what she was looking at… than once again she had another realization that made her already confusing and overwhelming feelings for Josh intensify.

He'd told her to bring her sketchpad… it was like he knew that she'd end up drawing.

With slightly shaky hands she reached down to open her bag and retrieve her sketchbook and pencil, and started drawing. After weeks of not being able to find inspiration, after feeling like she was missing a part of herself her hands so surely moved around the page. Bit by bit the lines she created became shapes, and shades gave depth to her drawing. When she finished Josh was standing slightly behind her looking over her shoulder at her creation.

She held the drawing slightly out in front of her to asses her work. She'd drawn the city of New York as her eyes had seen it with snowflakes falling, but there was a blank spot in the middle and she knew exactly why she hadn't drawn that…

"Wow, that's amazing Maya." Josh admired still standing behind her.

"I always thought my pain was what helped me make my paintings say something…" She muttered as she looked at the drawing that'd she'd created. She was amazed… this drawing signified something she thought she'd lost when things in her life started falling apart… wonder… hope. Only a day into this little adventure and things were starting to shift her perspective. Though some things were still left unsure.

"Pain is a great inspiration; it takes us somewhere that is sorely personal. It makes you realize who you don't want to be, helps guide us so that we don't make the same mistakes that lead to that pain." He whispered right behind her so that only she heard, and she was… to everything he was saying. "Now happiness… happiness is just as powerful Maya. Happiness is intimate as well to who you are, and it shows you what it takes to make yourself more content with who you want to be. Happiness can create great art, shows others what hope looks like, and as humans isn't that what we all want when we face adversity? Happiness."

Maya was awe struck, how incredibly beautiful his words were. They struck a nerve and she could feel the weight grow behind her eyes and the slight quiver of her bottom lip.

"Hey don't cry… I didn't mean to make you upset. I know what I said was super cheesy, but I didn't think it'd make you feel bad." Josh was now standing in front of her, looking down worried.

She let out a small laugh. "You didn't upset me you dork. I've just had a really bad couple of months; I've been trying to avoid anything to do with hope and happiness. I feel like I haven't deserved it, or that somehow I'll mess things up. Yet here I am exposing myself to it again."

"Yet here you are, that just goes to show you that you're not ready to give up on yourself like you'd originally thought. That's why I'm here. I'm going to make sure you realize how special you are. We all deserve happiness, and you'll get everything you want out of life Maya, you just have to let yourself have that opportunity. What's life without taking chances?" He asked his brow raised, and his eyes searching.

* * *

After they left the Empire State building it was already half passed six, they'd spent hours up there talking and just looking out at the amazing view.

They were now walking towards Maya's favorite pizza parlor, they'd decided to pick up their food and eat it at her dorm. Her roommate was always gone for the weekends, so Maya had the room all to herself.

Once they reached the dorm room she took off her coat and boots and headed towards her bed sitting down, and Josh wasn't far behind her. He'd taken his boots off and his leather jacket leaving him in his grey hoodie.

He placed the pizza box on her bed and he sat down across from her.

They ate in silence for the first few minutes, when she decided it was time to break the comfortable silence they had. The spark and the tension she felt all day still there between them, prickling at her skin.

"I know I said this already but thanks again for taking me to the top of New York, it was amazing."

Josh chewed on his pizza before answering with a hint of pride in his voice. "No problem, glad I was there to see you through this. We still have ways to go though."

"I know I was totally skeptical about all of this earlier, but I'm genuinely excited for this. If they're anything like today then…" She trailed.

"Then?" He prompted his half eaten pizza in his hands.

"Then I guess having expectations and hope isn't so bad." Maya confessed.

Josh's eyes widened in joy. "Then I guess we're taking a step in the right direction."

"I guess we are…"

* * *

Two hours after Josh left to go back to his dorm Maya sat on her bed her sketchbook opened to the page where she'd drawn earlier.

She held her pencil in her hand staring down at the blank spot in the middle of the drawing. Her assignment was to draw something that made her feel SOMETHING. The moment she'd looked out towards the city she knew that feeling of immense of joy and bliss was something she wanted to focus on. It made her feel; but she had purposefully left the small space in the middle blank.

She took a deep breath and brought the sketchbook closer and she started stroking her pencil on the white page.

When she finished she looked at her completed work.

The space she'd left blank… It was her and Josh holding hands watching the view out in front of them. Then as she stared at the intertwined hands she let herself feel what she'd tried fighting all day.

She'd told Riley days before that she was tired of trusting people, because they only disappointed her in the long run. She didn't realize until now that the one thing she tried so hard to suppress was bubbling on the surface for this one guy.

Guess he was right… that just meant she wasn't as ready to give up on herself like she thought she was. For the first time in a long time, despite the pain she felt at being betrayed constantly, she let herself wallow in the tiny glimmer of hope that Josh had created for her.

She still had questions, who she really was for one; but trusting… well she unknowingly let herself trust someone.

Joshua Matthews.

She breathed out. "I'm so screwed."

* * *

 **There's chapter 2 for all of you lovely people! I hope y'all enjoyed reading it! Guys how about 10 reviews and I'll update sooner rather than later? I really want to know what you guys think of this so far. I want to read your thoughts so review pretty please with a big ole cherry on top! Btw this story I planned to be pretty long I hope that's ok with y'all, just a head's up. But anyways love you all and see y'all for the next chapter! (Hopefully)!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Guys I'm so very sorry for the late update. I wanted to get this out right after I got 10 reviews for chapter 2 but I had uploading issues, but I hope this chapter makes up for it! Happy reading guys and don't forget to review!**

* * *

"Hello?" A cheerful voice greeted.

"Riley when you come back from Spain I'm going to strangle you oh so lovingly." Maya threatened with a blithe smile on her face, as she sat in her dorm room.

"Gee I'm great too Maya, what's gotten you spilling out threats to your best friend?"

"Riles, you know what you did." Maya said pointedly.

"No I don't."

"Liar."

There was a ten second paused before Riley finally gave in. "Fine ok, I was worried, and since Josh was close by I asked him to check up on you… couldn't have been too bad could it?"

"No it wasn't bad, but you could've warned me… cause now-" She stopped herself from continuing.

"Cause now what?"

Maya grumbled. "Cause now I'm… feeling." She pushed at the last word as if it were stuck in her throat.

Riley laughed. "Yeah Maya you're human, having feelings are kind of the norm."

"Okay miss smart ass; you know what I'm trying to say. Riley, you knew what you were doing…" Maya whined.

"Maya I promise I just sent him to help out, what did he do? I'll send him a strongly worded text message and give him a piece of my mind if he did anything to upset you." Riley vowed, Maya could already imagine the small pout she'd more than likely have on her face. It made Maya miss her all the more.

"Riles, like I said before nothing bad happened… on the contrary, he's actually been really… amazing."

"Maya?" Riley whispered her voice cautious.

"Yeah?"

"You still like him don't you? That's what you meant by 'feeling'."

Maya bit her bottom lip, Riley knew her all too well. "Yeah- yeah I do. Which sucks I may add, because I just finished a five year relationship with a guy that cheated on me and all these feelings for Josh start bubbling on the surface. Not to mention the man that I looked up to left after he and my mom got a divorce. Riles I don't know what to do." Maya looked down at her hand that was lying on top of a small pillow on her lap. She took a deep breath and dropped her head back in exasperation. "I don't know how to handle all this." Maya confessed.

"You don't need to do anything Maya, just let it happen. When I called you last Monday I knew you weren't just going to stop caring, because that's not who you are."

"Riles." Maya paused. "He took me to the top of the Empire State building."

"You're serious? You're afraid of heights!" Riley exclaimed.

"I know."

"How in the world did he get you to do this, I've been trying for years, that's not fair!"

"After our phone call on Monday I went to work and Josh showed up, thanks to you I may add, then he walked me back to my dorm and on the way I spilled… I told him everything. I'm surprised he hadn't found out honestly, but yeah I told him what happened."

"Then?" Riley prompted.

"Then he said my biggest problem was that I needed to start worrying about me. That in order to find out whom I am I need to dedicate time to doing things that make me happy. To stop worrying about everyone else for a second and just focus on me."

"Sounds kinky."

Maya coughed out a laugh. "Oh my gosh. Riles since when do you have such a dirty mind?"

"Oh whatever I have my moments… anyways continue with your story."

Maya rolled her eyes. "Well he suggested that I make a bucket list. So he helped me make it and going to one of the tallest buildings in the world was number one on the list."

"Oooo a bucket list sounds fun!" Riley answered lively.

"Riley, we held hands and I think he's been flirting with me, and… I don't know what to do." Maya groaned. "Is it even normal to feel all this? After everything? I had sworn not to let myself trust or get in too deep with anyone, and only a couple of months later I'm already giving in."

"It's normal Maya, you're human. Besides you've liked Josh for years no matter if you were in love with Evan… the feelings you had for Josh don't just go away especially if they're not resolved. Like I said you just let what you're feeling happen. Don't hide behind your walls. I asked you to promise me to be the best Maya you could be and you never answered so now I'm telling you. Josh cares about you, you've known each other for years, just go with it Maya. If you don't want to have any expectations then don't, just go with the flow. See where things lead you."

Maya closed her eyes taking in what Riley said. "You're right."

"I am. So no more questioning, no more wondering. You're on this really cool self-discovery adventure with a guy that you've liked your whole life. I challenge you to just give in and let go for your sake." Riley encouraged.

She was right, she'd spend the longest time questioning everything and wallowing in self-pity. Screw Evan and screw Shawn, as much as it still hurt she needed to live in moment.

"You still there?"

"Yeah sorry was just off in my own little world for a second… Will you be ok with me being your aunt?" Maya joked, she heard Riley's choked laugh on the other side. She remembered the Christmas a few years back when she'd seen Josh for the first time in years. She'd wanted to be Mrs. Maya Matthews the moment she'd laid eyes on him. The good ole days.

"There's the Maya I know!"

Maya was about talk again when the door to her room opened up, and she jumped in surprise at the sudden intrusion. Josh was standing by the foot of her bed smiling down at her. She grabbed the small pillow from her lap and swung it at his head… which he annoyingly dodged.

"Is that Riley?" He asked sitting down at her desk.

"Maya are you ok?" Riley asked concerned.

"Yeah I'm ok, but your very annoying uncle boing just barged into my room." She answered Riley, and then looked at Josh scrunching her face with mock anger. "I could've been naked." She told him, and the moment she did she regretted it because the look on his face made butterflies in her stomach flutter. Curse those smoldering blue eyes of his.

Maya cleared her throat looking away from Josh's penetrating gaze. "Riles I'm going to let you go… talk to you next Monday."

"Ok, and remember what I told you! Love you Maya!"

"Sure Riles, love you."

Maya hung up her phone and sat up on her bed. Josh was currently on her laptop scrolling through his Facebook from what she could see.

"Joshua…" Maya sing-songed.

He turned around to look at her his dark brows rising in question.

"Maya…." He mimicked.

"What are you doing here on a Monday afternoon? Shouldn't you be oh I don't know somewhere else?" She asked sarcastically, but in truth she loved that he'd been spending more time with her.

"I was bored, my roommate was snoring so loud he'd give a freaking subway train a run for its money, and I thought why not visit my favorite blonde." He concluded.

"Suck up."

"You love it." He beamed.

"Mhmmm ok Josh."

"Seriously though I was wondering if you were going to work today?" He asked shutting off her computer and swiveling the chair to face her bed.

"No I have the day off. Why?" She asked.

"Was wondering if you wanted to go over to Topanga's? Plus I'm dying to go outside and smell the pollution that fills this marvelous city."

Maya rolled her eyes at his comment, but truth was she needed to leave this place too. "Ok let me just get my coat."

* * *

They had opted out of taking a cab over to Topanga's which was only a few blocks away. A choice that Maya was now completely regretting. She was wearing brown knee high, high heeled boots and it was safe to say her feet were killing her, and to think they still had about ten more minutes to go before they got to the bakery.

Maya needed a break. "Ok Josh, let's take like a five minute break my feet are screaming in agony." She took a step away from the busy sidewalk and stood where people weren't going to run into them.

Josh laughed at her. "I don't understand why women have the need to wear those death contraptions." He pointed down to her feet.

She raised her brow. "We wear them because they make our legs look good. Plus they usually don't hurt, but because I was an idiot and agreed not to take a cab… well here we are."

"I can hail a cab if you want." Josh asked trying to suppress a smile.

"What for we're like ten minutes away why waste money? Just give me a few minutes and my feet will be fully recharged." She joked.

"Well I'm dying for a giant chocolate chip cookie, I'm not willing to wait-" Josh turned around, his back facing her. He looked back towards her his arms out beside him. "Hop on short stuff."

Maya's eyes widened. Was he really willing to carry an extra 104 pounds for ten minutes, and in the cold?

"C'mon Hart, let's get going there's a giant cookie with my name on it."

She rolled her eyes again, though she'd be lying if she didn't admit that getting a piggy-back ride from Josh didn't make her want to jump up and down like a thirteen year old school girl. "Fine."

Maya stood behind Josh and braced herself before jumping up and landing on his back. His hands instantly wrapping around her thighs and her arms around his neck.

He was so tall compared to her; her legs were hanging several inches from the ground. Being so near him, made goose bumps rise on her skin, despite her wearing a coat. His sure and strong hands were secure on her legs. She closed her eyes and let the emotions running through her flow. Riley told her to feel, well she was feeling. Being this near to Josh was clearly going to be something she'd never get used to. It was like everything was heightened whenever she was near him, of whenever they touched. Then to add the hypothetical cherry on top, he smelled so good.

"Ready Maya?" He asked breaking her out of her daze.

She smiled and carefully tightened her grip on him. "Yeah." She whispered content.

For the next five or so minutes they were completely silent. They'd occasionally get stares from people, but other than a few comments they were silent. It made Maya… happy.

"I can't believe you're giving me a piggy-back ride all the way to Topanga's." Maya commented.

Josh stopped for a second so he could push her up a bit on his back. "It's your fault you wore those deadly things and you didn't want to get a cab. I could've been eating my giant cookie by now."

She slapped his chest lightheartedly.

"Ow Hart. You're so abusive." He joked.

"Whatever."

When they made it to the bakery, Maya being a little higher up than usual saw her mom through the window behind the counter serving a customer.

Despite the fun she'd been having with Josh, she felt that familiar tug threatening to cut at the seams holding her together, and felt her body deflate. She was sure Josh could sense her downing mood, because he tightened his hands on her jean clad thighs.

She was a bit nervous to face her mother. She hadn't seen her since the semester began, and Maya could see even from a distance how sad her mom was.

They were about to go in when Josh stopped, he was about to talk but Maya jumped off his back landing on her feet. He turned around, his face solemn. He didn't say anything. He didn't need too. Josh's blue eyes could be very expressive when he wanted them to be. He was worried, and a little curios.

She placed her hand on his left bicep and gave him a sincere grin. "It's ok, I agreed to come. I needed to see my mom." She assured him. She meant it; she needed to see her mother. Sometimes it was hard to forget her own pain and remember that her mother was the one that went through the actual divorce.

"You sure? I brought you here because this place is familiar, if it makes you upset we can do something else." He offered.

She smiled her hand still on his bicep. She tightened her hand, and nodded. "It'll be fine. This will make me happy, I've missed my mom."

"Ok. C'mon." Josh grabbed onto her hand that was on his bicep and held onto it pulling her along into the familiar bakery that held so many memories.

When she walked in she felt the same sense of comfort and warmth, and the scent of baked goods overwhelming her senses.

Her mom looked up right when she walked in and gave Maya a doleful look, but tried to mask it with a grin. She saw her mother's eye move down to gaze at Maya and Josh's linked hands.

Maya let go and walked straight towards the counter where her mother was, Josh staying behind.

"Hey mom." Maya whispered.

Katy smiled the same look in her eyes. "Hey baby girl. I've missed you." She walked around the counter and came over to envelope Maya in a warm embrace.

Maya closed her eyes and nestled her face in her mom's chest, the emotions that had been prickling at her for the past month felt like stabs now. Everything she was trying to hold down the betrayal, the hurt, it all came to the surface and only a lone tear escaped her eye.

She hugged her mom tighter and felt her mother's hand land on the crown of her head. She was glad the bakery had very few customers at the moment.

"I'm sorry mom." Maya whispered.

Katy tightened her hold on her daughter. "It's not your fault Maya, these things happen."

They separated and Katy wiped the wetness on Maya's cheek. Maya turned a bit to look at Josh who was sitting down on one of the sofa's looking through his phone, clearly trying to give them space.

Maya looked deeply into her mother's eyes. That pained expression her mother had hurt Maya. She was telling the truth when she'd told Josh that seeing her mother would make her happy, and it did, but seeing her mother in pain gutted her as well. She was glad she was here though; her mom needed her now more than ever.

"I know you're not right now, but are you going to be ok?" Maya asked her mom.

Katy grabbed onto Maya's hand. "Yes honey, I'm going to get better. It hurts, it sucks and some days are better than others, but your momma is strong, she'll get better with time. We Hart girls are resilient." Katy reassured her.

She was right. Her mother was strong, one of the strongest people she knew. Katy moved back behind the counter and Maya sat down on one of the stools.

"How are you holding up?" Katy asked.

Maya took a deep breath. "I'm actually doing better than I thought I would."

Is it because of the devilishly handsome Matthews boy?" Her mom whispered gesturing towards Josh who was still minding his own. Maya followed her mother's look, and smiled to herself. It definitely was most definately because of him.

"Yeah it is. He's been great mom. We're trying this thing whe-"

"What thing?" Katy's hand landed on her hip.

Maya blushed. "Oh my gosh mom no! No, it's not like that!"

"Mhmm ok, so how has he been great?"

" Well last week, he showed up at work and we got to talking. Riley had asked him to come check up on me see if I was ok, and I told him everything."

"Everything?"

"Yeah, it was hard at first, but he insisted. Then we talked and he came up with this idea, and well he helped me make a bucket list."

"Really?" She asked surprised.

"Yeah, he said I needed to focus on me. To stop overwhelming myself with pessimistic thoughts. So we wrote down everything I've ever wanted to do."

Katy's eyes were wide, a slack-jaw expression on her face.

"That sounds amazing honey."

Maya bit her lip. "Yeah it is."

Katy gave Maya a knowing look. "I hate to bring it up but what about that other boy that hurt you?"

Maya sighed. "He cheated mom, and it hurt like hell because I did love him. I was hurt and I wanted to close that part of me off, but-"

"But that boy sitting over there." Katy whispered knowingly.

Maya nodded looking down at her hands.

"It's ok to let yourself feel Maya. You're human, plus you've liked him long before Evan came into the picture."

"Riley said the same thing."

"Yeah well she's Topanga and Corey's kid; she comes with life lessons and advice included in her birth package."

Maya laughed at her mom. Truer words have never been spoken, and she loved Riley all the more for it.

"Plus I saw the way you two came in holding hands. Looked innocent enough to others, but momma knows the two of you like each other. There's no need to close yourself off to feeling these things Maya. The biggest part of life is to live it, risks and all. Your heart will be broken a few times, but eventually you'll find someone that will re-build the pieces back up, and make sure to reinforce it so that it will never break again."

"You're right and I understand that now, that's why earlier I decided to let myself open up more. To just go with the flow." Maya confessed.

"That's great Maya. You got this boy who clearly cares about you. Experience life baby girl. Don't let what others have done hold you back, because you have too much potential."

"Thanks momma." Maya could feel the swell of tears form in her eyes again, but this time because of the love she had for her mom.

Her mother was so strong. Maya understood her underlying words. Maya understood that her mother was giving her advice while at the same time letting Maya know that while she may be sad, she wasn't going to let what happened between her and Shawn stop her from being happy again.

"You're welcome honey. Now-" Katy pointed at Josh. "Tell that boy to come over and say hi to me."

Maya swiveled the stool. "Josh, you still want that giant cookie?" She teased, the burdening weight in her heart almost all but gone. She'd needed this talk with her mom. Riley had told her, Josh convinced her and her mother assured her.

Josh looked up from his phone and his gorgeous smile lit up his face when he heard Maya.

He stood up and walked over to them. He leaned over the counter giving her mom a hug and a greeting. "So nice to see you again Josh." Her mother said.

"Nice to see you too Katy." He sat down on the stool next to Maya.

"So what can I get you guys?"

* * *

After spending an hour at Topanga's, just sitting around talking to her mom for a while they'd decided to go to central park, and this time taking a cab.

They made it to a park bench below some trees before she got too tired. They were talking and joking around watching couples holding hands, kids with their parents. Even during the winter was this city so alive.

"Ok so I've got a question." Maya asked as they continued their conversation.

"And I've got an answer… hopefully." He said.

"We made my bucket list… but do you have one?" She asked curiously.

Josh bit his lip. "I do."

"Alright then uncle boing, tell me about your list."

"Nope." He popped the 'p'.

Maya slapped her legs in playful annoyance. "C'mon that is so not fair you know all my goals and wishes!" She jutted her lower lip out and widened her eyes. "Pwease Joshie, will you tell me?" She asked in a small voice.

He chuckled. "You know you look really cute when you pout like that." He pointed out.

"Don't change the subject mister!" Maya turned her body on the bench so now one of her legs was resting on it beside Josh. She grabbed onto his arm and nudged him. "C'mon just tell me one thing on your list."

"Nuh uh." He closed his eyes in playful defiance.

"Fine." Maya let go of him and crossed her arms out in front of her.

Josh opened one eye to look at her, the corners of his mouth rising.

"Ok, I'll tell you that I only have four things on my list."

"Just four?"

"Mhhm. Just four."

Maya un-crossed her arms and rested them on her lap, she was still facing towards him.

"Will you ever share them with me?" She asked earnestly.

"Of course, just not right now."

"Ok sounds fair." Maya bit her lip. "Have you fulfilled any of them yet?"

Maya could see the expression on Josh's face change. He looked thoughtful as he stared ahead, then seconds passed until he turned to look at her, his body turning to mimic hers.

His brooding eyes and pouty lips were so incredibly endearing that sometimes Maya had a hard time breathing, not to mention the amazingly huge heart he had as well.

The gaze he was giving her was no longer thoughtful, now it looked like wonder.

She searched his eyes, he was easy to read at times and other times he was a complete enigma.

"I think two of those are in the process of working themselves out. Sooner than I expected actually." He answered truthfully. She felt the weight of his gaze; it was a weight she was happy to take on. It was full of the best kind of tension. The tension that stirred your stomach with nerves. The tension that made your skin tingle. The tension that made your head spin, because you couldn't think straight. It was the one that made your focus shift on only that one person that was staring straight at you with purpose.

"So you'll let me know when those two things are checked off your list?" She didn't know why she asked that particular question. He had already told her that he would share his goals and dreams with her, but the question came out on its own accord. It felt like something she needed to ask. Something that she needed to put out there.

He bit his lips and looked down. He reached over and once again grabbed onto her hand. She didn't think she'd ever be able to get used to the feeling of his warm calloused hand intertwining with hers.

"You'll be the first to know." His thumb caressed her hand, his eyes staring deep into her very being, their breath mingling with the chilly wind. That's when she knew, that her heart being broken was just so that someone could come along and help fix it for the last time, this time on a permanent rebuild. Her mother was right. Riley was right.

Her heart had endured a lot, but now there was one person capable of rebuilding and reinforcing it, and that person was a tall pouty lipped, blue eyed boy that promised to help find who she was again. Who'd promised to go on this self-discovery journey with her.

Now there were no more reservations. No more wondering and questioning. Her convictions discovered by her mother and best friend were solidified by the amazing boy sitting next to her. By the boy that held her small hand in his. The boy that she knew she'd never really gotten over.

* * *

 ****PLEASE READ** So I really hoped you guys liked this chapter. Maya finally decided to open up after being hurt by certain people she'd cared about. That's huge and it's thanks to the people she cares about the most. Remember "People change people." I want to know would you guys like a Josh POV chapter? Let me know! And get ready because things are going to start going in full speed from here on out! Alright let me know what you all think, leave me a review with your thoughts! How about another 10 reviews so I can update chapter 4? But anyways I love yall and hope to see you in the next chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

Maya's gaze moved from the canvas sitting out in front of her to the model that was standing in the middle of the class. They were working on surrealism, which was one of Maya's favorite forms of art. It was always fun to see what her mind could come up with.

It was kind of in tune with how her life was right now, finding out how to look at life through a different perspective. Seeing the things that were there in front of you and changing them to see a more positive outlook on life.

Weeks had gone by since she and Josh had started the whole bucket list thing, they were now at the beginning of March, and things were beginning to look up; especially with her art. She was finding inspiration everywhere; painting and drawing coming just as naturally since before the whole Evan and Shawn ordeal.

She and Josh hung out a lot more during the week; even if they were both busy they'd try and see each other as much as possible. She was in a good place and it was all thanks to him. The dynamic between them started to shift as well. They were more open, they flirted a lot more, and she surprisingly welcomed it. She liked him a lot and there was no reason to try and hide it from herself.

Maya took a deep breath and smiled to herself as she continued to paint. Thinking about Josh brought out an overwhelming amount of euphoric emotions. Now when she thought about Evan, she wouldn't even blink an eye, though the whole Shawn thing was something she's sure would take a while.

"Maya that's wonderful."

Maya was shocked back into reality when her art professor who was now standing a few inches behind her was observing her work.

Maya smiled once again as she looked at her painting.

"Thanks."

"Miss Maya you've been incredibly inspiring these past couple of weeks, what's gotten your creative juices flowing?"

Maya stared at her work and bit her lip trying to control the large smile that threatened to break out. "I guess you could say a new sense of hope and adventure." She answered truthfully.

Her art teacher placed her hand on Maya's shoulder. "Well hope and adventure looks good on you, and your art. Keep up the good work."

Maya leaned back to look at her professor. "Will do."

After class was over Maya was walking down the courtyard by herself the busy NYU students bustling all around her. She loved to just look around and see the different colors that surrounded her, especially how the sun changed the color of every single thing in her line of sight.

She was so engrossed in what she was doing that the moment she felt two hands grab onto her shoulders she jumped a few inches off the ground, and let out a small shriek of surprise. She immediately turned around to find a laughing Josh, who's hands were now clutching onto his stomach.

She crossed her arms with a scowl on her face waiting for him to finish. She felt her heart beat against her chest from the scare he'd just given her.

"I'm going to hurt you Matthews." She threatened.

Josh picked his head up, his blue eyes glossy from the laughing. After she saw his face, she couldn't handle being mad at him. His eyes watery, cheeks pink, and she especially couldn't handle when he wore his signature beanie.

"Oh come on it's not my fault you were completely out of it. You need to always be aware of your surroundings Hart."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah." She dropped her arms to the side and began walking Josh following suit.

"So I was thinking it's been a while since we've done anything on your list, I mean it's March we started in January, I think it's time we get to it again. Soooo how's about we cross another one out today?"

"It's Friday, are you sure you want to waste a Friday doing something like this?" She asked.

"Hell yeah, come on short stuff I have the perfect one we can do!"

Maya groaned. "Oh no, which one did you pick?"

"Well I had one in mind, but ultimately you should get to pick the one you want to do… here-" They stopped walking so that Josh could reach in his back pocket to pull out the worn out paper with her list.

He opened it and she looked over to see that only the first one had been crossed out. He was right they'd started this in late January and it was now early March, and they had only done one thing on her list. She guessed it was due to the fact that they'd been distracted by everything else. Plus they'd been hanging out a lot so there was that. She couldn't exactly say she regretted it, because well... she didn't.

"So which one did you want to do?" She asked looking over at the list. She saw him point at one and her eyes bulged.

'Perform in front of a crowd'

"You want to kill me don't you?" She groaned dropping her head against his left bicep, and wrapping her arm around the one she was laying on.

He chuckled. "This is YOUR list; I only helped write it down. If you don't feel comfortable doing it, we could do something different. You have a lot to choose from."

Maya bit the inside of her cheek her head still against Josh's arm, she looked down once again at the paper in his hands. She contemplated on which one to do, singing in front of everyone out in the streets felt spontaneous, and something she was sure to enjoy once she got over her initial fear. Then she thought about something.

She picked her head up her hand still wrapped around his arm. "We can do that one, BUT…"

He looked over at her a playful smirk on his lips. "But?"

She tightened her grip on his arm. "But you have to play with me."

She saw the way his smirk dropped and his eyes grew larger. "I suck at singing."

"Bull crap, I've heard you play and I've heard you sing. C'mon Josh it'll be fun!" Maya begged him; she jutted her bottom lip out giving him her famous puppy dog look.

He closed his eyes, she knew he couldn't resist that look. "Fine!"

Maya released his arm jumping up in triumph. "Cheer up ace this'll be fun!" Maya felt unusually peppy as she practically skipped towards Josh's dorm room.

Once inside Maya went straight towards his bed and sat down waiting for him to grab everything he needed, while she looked through her phone.

"Where exactly do you want to do this?" She asked as she looked through her Instagram.

Josh picked up his acoustic guitar and sat down on the other side of his bed. "Central Park? It's still a bit chilly out but at least we'll have the shade."

"I can't believe we're actually doing this." Maya said dropping her phone beside her.

"I know I can't believe you dragged me into this, I was just planning on being your number one fan." He joked.

She laughed.

"Ok so you ready to go?" He asked guitar still in hand.

"Yeah let's get this over with."

* * *

Maya was pacing back and forth as Josh sat down on a park bench, the same one they had sat in when Maya realized she still had strong feelings for the goof ball sitting down tuning his guitar.

"You keep pacing like that your feet are going to fall off." Josh said not even looking up from his guitar.

Maya stopped and stood in front of him. "I'm nervous. What if no one likes it and we're just sitting here like losers?"

Josh laughed. "Okay first of all you could never look like a loser and second it doesn't matter this is so that you can have fun and let go so that's what you're going to do. Even if you're just singing to me just let go."

"When will you ever get tired of giving pep talks, I think at this point you really want to strangle me don't you?" She grinned.

"Never. I'll give you pep talks anytime you need them. Now sit down and just start singing, there are a lot of people walking by, even if they don't stop to watch you'll be heard."

"Ok." Maya sat down next to Josh; she adjusted herself and looked across the bench to a small pond. Her hands felt clammy and she took a deep breath, ignoring all the pedestrians walking by. She took a deep breath, _it's just singing_ , she tried reminding herself.

She turned to Josh and gave him a small nod for him to start. He winked at her, making her nerves lessen. Luckily on their way to the park they had chosen the song they were going to perform, so now all she had to do was just let go and sing.

 _Just let go Maya._

Josh started strumming away; she closed her eyes and waited for her part to come up. She let the soft melodic sound of the guitar strings lull her into this sense of comfort. After art, music was one of Maya's passions, she loved it. She loved expressing herself with it. Josh was super talented at the guitar, more so than she and he had a voice to die for. So having him help her was a no brainer.

The sound of the guitar as Josh strummed was so awe inspiring, especially because they were out in the open. She was nervous as hell, but like being at the top of the Empire state building this was equally as freeing.

It was all about being spontaneous, doing things that made her happy.

Josh's head bobbed slightly as he played getting into the music he was making, and Maya could only stare in awe. He was so incredibly handsome and watching him play was always something she loved to witness, and for them to do this together was special.

Before she knew it was time to start singing. She closed her eyes once again and quietly started to sing the lyrics to one of her favorite songs.

 **We are young, we are gold**

 **Trying things we didn't know**

 **Looking at the sky, see it come alive**

Maya opened her eyes and saw people's curios glances, one couple stopped and stood a few feet from them a smile on both their faces. Maya's heart was racing, the pounding almost deafening. She looked over at Josh and he smiled and nodded in encouragement.

 **All our fears became our hopes**

 **Climbed out every locked window**

 **We rode the lion's mane and fell upon the rain**

At this point Maya felt a lot better, more and more people stopped walking to come over and watch them. She felt amazing. Then she realized the weight of what she was singing, and it fit so perfectly with what she was feeling and doing.

 **We can reach the constellations**

 **Trust me, all our dreams are breaking out**

She was proactively trying to fulfill her dreams and hopes, and doing it with a boy that she cared about. Now instead of singing with her eyes closed she turned to look at Josh. It was if he felt her gaze, because he'd turned at the same exact time and now they were looking at each other so intensely as they both performed.

The nerves were now all but gone, the people surrounding them were no longer there in their focus, only each other. His blue eyes were gleaming his smile so mesmerizing. She could feel her heart soar… no matter how cliché it sounded she'd never felt so complete. She could feel the weight in her chest go from nerves to utter wander and awe and something she thought she'd never feel again.

* * *

 **JPOV**

Josh looked at the beautiful blonde sitting right next to him. Crazy how she didn't realize the power she had over him, the power she had over people in general. Her presence was so electric. Everything she did commanded everyone's attention.

He couldn't keep his eyes off her as she sang; at this point he was just playing the guitar no longer getting lost in the music but getting lost in her.

 **No, we're never gonna turn to dust,**

 **Yeah, all we really need is us**

 **Don't be scared to close your eyes**

 **No, we're never gonna die, we'll be the stars**

 **Oh, no, we're never gonna step too far**

 **Yeah, we're holding on to who we are**

 **When it's time to close your eyes**

 **They will see us in the sky,**

 **We'll be the stars!**

Josh could only grin. She looked so free so open. This is exactly what he'd wanted when he suggested they perform. He'd known the hardships that this amazing girl had gone through, and for her to be able to still be so full of life was beyond him.

He was only slightly aware of the people surrounding them, but Maya commanded all of his attention. She always had.

He continued to strum while she continued to sing, her voice so strong yet soothing. Her gaze so mesmerizing it was as if she was staring straight into him.

 **Let me in, hold me close**

 **Fill my heart with simple notes**

 **So when it's hard to see,**

 **They are there, reminding me**

 **Take my breath, and hold me high**

 **So I can feel the city lights**

 **Glowing under me**

 **It's in or reach, we're breaking out**

He'd been waiting for years, for this girl. Ever since he'd gotten his head out of his ass and realized how amazing she was, but unfortunately by the time he had, she'd already been dating some asshole.

Now, there wasn't much stopping him from finally doing something about what he felt for her. Only that he wanted to make sure she was happy and content with whom she was first.

When Riley had called him all those weeks ago, he didn't even think twice before going to where Maya worked and making sure she was ok. He felt like such an ass when he realized everything she'd gone through, he felt like an ass because he should've been there when it happened. If he could he'd go straight up to that asshole that broke her heart and kick his ass for threatening to take that spark in Maya's eyes.

When he saw her so down at the coffee shop, her blue eyes dim and her sad expression, something in him burned… he just wanted to see her happy. He wanted to see the spunky blonde that he'd met all those years ago. The one who no matter how many times life knocked her down would get up and still have a genuine smile on her face. Though when he saw the look in her eyes he knew this time it'd been different.

She'd confessed everything to him, and he knew that there was nothing he wouldn't do for her. After taking her to the Empire state building it only solidified what he knew; that the list was the best thing he'd ever done. For the both of them, seeing her so full of wander and life filled him up so much.

That's why he vowed to make sure she was happy before anything else, and seeing her now while she sang brought the same fullness in his heart. He knew that not only would doing all these things would help rediscover herself, but himself as well.

He had his own list as well and it coincided perfectly with hers.

 **Oh ooh ooh oh oh**

 **We'll be the stars!**

Once he plucked the last string there was a pregnant pause before everyone around them started to applaud them. With hesitation they both looked away from each other to acknowledge the crowd that had formed watching them perform.

Afterwards when everyone else was gone they sat there in silence his guitar still sitting on his thigh.

"You were amazing Maya." He said, and it was the truth the girl was so incredibly talented.

She blushed and he loved the rosy hue that formed whenever she received a compliment. He thanked the heavens she was a lot more open with him now. He still saw the occasionally flash of pain that would coat her gorgeous blue eyes, but she was better he could see it.

"That was… exhilarating! I've never done something like that before!" She was so full of joy, her expression carefree; all he could do was smile.

"Next time you're singing with me mister!" She said.

Josh faked cough. "I don't think I can." *cough* "I'm sick."

Maya giggled. "Liar."

"Well miss Hart it seems that you have crossed out another item off your list." Josh pointed out reaching over his back jean pocket to take out the notebook paper.

He gave it over to Maya who then reached into her messenger bag and pulled out a pen, scratching out one of the things on her bucket list.

"Josh?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we do camping and hiking next?" She looked at him with such a hopeful look. _Hell yes of course they could just as long as she kept looking at him that way_. _Wow Matthews you're turning into such a sap for her._

"Spring break is coming in two more weeks… I think that'd be a great idea."

She bit her lip and smiled looking bashfully at him, and gosh damn it, he wanted to kiss her so bad.

"So all this playing has gotten me hungry… hot dog?" He suggested.

"Hell yes- you're buying!" Maya stood up and started jogging towards the hot dog stand and he watched as her golden curls bounced behind her. He was so freaking screwed.

* * *

 **Ok so here's chapter 4, a lot smaller than my other chapters but I thought it was appropriate to stop here. I hope you guys liked it! So you guys got a glimpse of Josh's thoughts! No worries there will be another chapter that is JUST Josh, but I wanted to dip yalls toes in the water. So anyways I hoped yall liked, I can't thank yall enough for the overwhelming amount of love and feedback from last weeks chapter thank you all so much really! Leave me a review how bout another 10 to unlock chapter 5? LOVE YOU ALL TILL NEXT TIME!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Josh POV**

"Maya are you ready?" Josh grumbled as he stood outside Maya's dorm room. He'd been standing there for the last ten minutes waiting for her to come out. All he could hear were "yeah in a minute" or "I'm changing" and then on one occasion he heard her mutter an "ouch". He acted impatient but if anything he thought it was cute listening to her scurry around her room.

It was finally the last week of March and the weather had gotten a bit warmer, and like he promised he was taking her camping for part of their spring break. He'd gotten Cory's permission to use his van and he and Maya were going to go hiking and then spend the weekend camping. Now he was just waiting for her to get all her stuff together.

He heard a small thump and footsteps come near the door. He backed up when he heard the doorknob. Maya opened up her door and a large grin spread across his face as he saw her. She was wearing a plaid shirt over a white T-shirt that read 'Adventure till I die" and some cargo joggers; _she looked good_ , he thought. The best part though wasn't her outfit it was her hair and the smile she had on her beautiful face. She had two braid showcasing her gorgeous heart-shaped face.

"So sorry about that, I was trying to get all my stuff together. Plus I couldn't decide what to wear… I've never been camping before." She admitted.

Josh smiled at her expression. She'd been getting better; she was smiling more often, and laughing, plus she was a lot sassier as well. One of Maya's more endearing attributes. He loved that Maya was almost back to her old self. She still carried a bit of sadness with her whenever something triggered her memories, but other than that she was getting the mischievous glint in her eyes back.

Spending so much time with her also made him happier. At first he'd started this whole bucket list thing to help her out, and that is still his primary goal… but now… he was finding out a lot about himself as well. She helped him see life in a different perspective, he was seeing things through her eyes and it was an inspiring thing. Her drawings the way she saw the world was inspiring. It helped him forget about his own problems, and his own insecurities. Helping heal her broken heart, helped him heal a part of himself he didn't even know needed to be mended. She made him feel wanted, and cared for. His whole life he stood in the shadow of his older siblings, and though he knows his parents love him, there was always a part of him that felt unworthy, but she took that all away.

Being with her, seeing her smile… it was the best part of his day. He knew that his feelings ran deeper for her than he ever let himself acknowledge. In high school when she was a sophomore and he was a junior, he'd been so close to asking her out, but he'd been too late. The asshole that had caused her so much pain had asked her out before he got a chance too. There wasn't a day that went by when he didn't regret it. So for five years he hid all the feelings he had for her, until now.

He wanted to focus on her first. She deserves to find her happiness, but that doesn't stop his racing heart every time he looks at her.

"Earth to Josh?" Josh was pushed back into reality when he saw Maya's tiny hand waving in front of his face trying to get his attention. He smirked. "Sorry I was totally spacing out."

"No kidding." She jabbed laughing at him.

"So you have all your stuff ready?" Josh asked looking over her shoulder and into her room to see a very full backpack on the floor.

"Yup let me just grab it." Maya was about to get her stuff when Josh went passed her before she could reach it and lifted the heavy bag off the floor. "No can do ma'am my momma taught me to always carry a woman's heavy bag for her."

Maya rolled her eyes half-heartedly. "I'm not complaining, that thing is heavy."

"No kidding." He mimicked her previous answer. "Feels like you have rocks in here… Maya you do know that we're going to be hiking? I don't think those tiny shoulders of yours can handle carrying so much weight for miles." He teased. He knew better than anyone just how strong she actually was, but he loved the little face scrunch she'd make when she tried not to laugh or smack him for his teasing.

Maya smacked his shoulder. "Matthews if I didn't like you so much-"

Josh raised his brow looking at her playfully. "Oh so you do like me?"

"Well I'm seriously reconsidering." She teased back.

Josh laughed and he moved to head out towards the hall. He stopped and turned waiting for Maya as she locked her dorm room.

"Oh come on, you know you could never un-like me Hart. I might even be your favorite Matthews." He winked at her as they walked down towards the parking lot area to the van.

"Don't hold your breath Josh you might faint from lack of oxygen, that spot is reserved for Riley." She laughed.

Josh placed one of his hands over his heart and gave a fake grunt of pain. "Ouch Maya that hurt." If Josh was being honest with himself he did feel a little jealous of his niece, that's how bad he had it.

They reached the van and after Josh had everything situated he and Maya got in the car and they made their way to their destination.

They were headed towards upstate NY and they'd reach the state park in two hours, so after they'd left the city limits they were on an open road. Maya had both her legs folded underneath her and it amazed him how small she truly was, and the protective swell that came over him.

She was small, and he felt protective of her, but he knew that her stature was just a hoax. Maya Hart was the toughest girl he'd ever met; she'd have what he liked to call the Chihuahua syndrome, though she wasn't all bark and no bite. Nope, Maya Hart was the real deal she was more the bite than bark type of girl. She was five foot zero of sassiness and spunk and he loved that about her.

He couldn't stop taking his eyes off the road for a few seconds just to glance over to her. They'd been talking about the most random things while listening to music, she had insisted she be the DJ cause she… quote "hated all the crap on the radio these days", he took on a huge surprise when she fished out her cell and plugged in the aux cord and she started blasting a whole bunch of classic 80's music.

She was perfect.

He was always learning so much about her, and every time he did he couldn't help but fall even harder for her. This weekend was going to be one to remember.

* * *

 **Maya POV**

Josh was so amazing. She could feel herself getting better; she felt it every day when she'd wake up. She'd wake up with a renewed sense of adventure. Her spirits were a lot higher than they had been since the beginning of the semester. Now she was even more ecstatic knowing that she was going to go camping for the first time ever and with Josh none the less.

It was getting harder every day to hold back the overwhelming feelings she had for him. The pain Evan had caused her was almost all but gone. She didn't feel that burden on her shoulders anymore. She still felt deeply wounded by Shawn leaving, but she guessed that scar would always ache.

Josh though had made sure to heal the wound that Evan had left her. Her sense of self-worth was so tied to a guy that when he had cheated on her she felt like the lowest form of scum. Though in all this, Josh made her realize without saying much, how her self-worth was supposed to be rooted in what she thought of HERSELF.

She'd let Evan take a lot from her, and he almost took her sense of self-acceptance… but little ole Joshua Matthews helped her see that she needed to accept herself for who she was before anyone else… and right now that was her mission.

Now she took it more seriously. With every new experience she self evaluated, trying to find out who this new Maya was. She knew now though that she'd be fine; that hope was a good thing to have. That hope was the only thing worth fighting for… besides love.

She'd almost forgotten what hope felt like. The last time she'd let herself have any sort of expectations was when her mother and Shawn had met for the first time, although that clearly went downhill and it hurt like hell.

This time her hope was in herself. She knew that the only person that couldn't let her down was her. So ever since that day in Central Park when she'd been singing, she decided that she'd fight hard for herself.

She smiled because she knew that she was well on her way and it was all because of the sweetest guy sitting right next to her.

"Why are you grinning like a fool?" Josh asked, his voice soft, a smile of his own lighting up his handsome face.

"Just thinking." She whispered.

"Care to share? I want to know what put that smile on your face short stuff." He asked endearingly.

She grinned biting her lower lip; the butterflies in her stomach fluttered uncontrollably, a constant feeling ever since she'd started hanging out with him.

"Just thinking of how lucky I am to have a Joshua Matthews in my life." She admitted. She could feel her cheeks warming up and she tried hiding her face when she realized her hair was in braids and she couldn't particularly hide her reaction from him.

Maya was looking at her twiddling thumbs waiting for his response when a few seconds passed and he stayed quiet. She was about to say something when he finally answered.

"Well, I'm pretty lucky to have a Maya Hart in my life too." He took his eyes off the road for a second to give her a meaningful look.

She smiled in response and turned to look out the window while the music blared out from the speakers. After he said that her smile was answer enough. It was one of those things that just spoke for itself.

It was a gorgeous day out, and she loved the little moments of silence in between their conversations. They weren't awkward at all, it was calming and relaxing, and she loved knowing they didn't need to talk all the time to be content next to each other. There was no need for dialogue to fill in the void.

She was itching to draw everything she saw as they drove further and further away from the city. The rays of sunlight beaming through the trees, the green lush colors of the grass, and the brightness of flowers.

She was so enthralled with everything she saw. The beauty of this Earth was so inspiring, and she felt her heart swell with emotion. This is what she wanted to feel when they'd created her bucket list. This is what she'd been feeling with every new experience. She was feeling alive, and she could only imagine what it would feel like to be outside amongst the trees seeing all this with a naked eye.

She smiled, and she felt giddiness in her chest.

She turned back to Josh when the song that was playing ended and one of her all time favorites came on and she started laughing at Josh's boyish smile when he started singing along to "Don't you (forget about me)".

She couldn't help but laugh a deep belly laugh at his childish enthusiasm. She had to hold onto her stomach as he sang it along using his free hand to mimic a microphone.

The carefree atmosphere had her bouncing in her seat singing along with him after her fit of laughter ended.

 **"Slow change may pull us apart**

 **When the lights gets into your heart, baby"**

He turned to sing to her and he winked making her laugh as she sang along with him.

 **"Don't you, forget about me**

 **Don't, don't, don't, don't**

 **Don't you, forget about me"**

They were having the time of their lives singing and playing around as she played the air drums.

When the song ended they were both in a euphoric state. He was grinning like the Cheshire cat his smile was so infectious, and she could feel her own cheeks hurt due to the smile plastered on her own face.

"That was great." He said both hands on the wheel now.

"That was more than great; you looked like a kid in a candy store." She laughed.

"Oh come on, you totally joined in. Plus that song is iconic!" He defended; his smile still on his face, and small crinkles decorated the corners of his eyes.

She bit her lip suppressing her laugh. Josh turned to look at her once again with such a child like glow in his blue eyes. "We make one hell of a singing duo, don't you think short stuff?" He winked.

"I agree boing. Though if I would've known you'd react like that I would've put that song on waaaay sooner."

"That song is played in one of my all time favorite movies of course I'd react that way." He laughed.

"The Breakfast Club? Hell of a choice as one of your favorites." She said pleasantly surprised.

"You're not the only one with an affinity for 80's pop culture short stuff." He teased.

* * *

Two hours and some minutes later they'd made it to their destination, and they'd gotten all of the things they needed and headed towards the trails.

She was glad all she had take was her backpack and sleeping bag to carry on their hike, though she couldn't say the same for Josh. Poor guy had a large backpack with a tent strapped to the bottom, a sleeping bag and other supplies they'd need for camping. The fact that he only had one tent wasn't lost on her either and she knew that it should've made her nervous but she couldn't find it in herself to be nervous. If anything, the fact that she wasn't nervous at all scared her more, but she put that to the side and looked around as they walked into the woods following the prominent trail.

She was right in her observations earlier on their drive there. Everything was brighter; this was kind of a small culture shock so to speak. Going from the city to seeing nothing but nature all around her, and she loved it.

Everything was heightened. She loved the feel of the chilly breeze swaying her baby hairs. The clean smell of nature, no gas fumes and best of all the quietness surrounding her; not a deafening silence but something so much more serene.

"This is so amazing." She whispered.

"Yeah it is", he paused, then quietly added. "I'm glad I'm getting to share this experience with you Maya."

She bit her lip containing the happy grin, and looked down at her boots as they stepped on small twigs. Good gosh, was she ever not going to react like a high school girl whenever he said things like that?

She doubted it.

They continued to hike up the trail and Maya would snap photos with her phone every time she felt aesthetically overwhelmed by the beautiful landscapes. She even took a few pictures of Josh when he'd turn around, in which he would make silly faces and or just laugh at her.

Maya could hear from a distance the soft swooshing sound of water, and she realized they must be getting closer to the lake.

They made it to the break line of trees and she could see the small body of water ahead. The water was a deep blue with alpine trees surrounding it from all sides.

Her footsteps became more constant as she walked faster towards the area they were going to be camping in.

Once she made it she stopped dead in her tracks and just stared ahead. It was so breathtaking. The landscape, it was surreal. It was as if a master artist took his precious time creating such a gorgeous painting, and just added soothing sound effects.

Just like the New York skyline view from the Empire State building was magnificent, so was this in its own merit.

She heard Josh come up behind her.

"So this is it. What do you think?" He asked. She grinned to herself when she heard the small hint of insecurity in his deep voice.

"This is so great Josh, thank you so much." She answered truthfully. She was so eternally grateful to him and without even thinking twice she took off her backpack and turned around to wrap her arms around him.

She could tell he was thrown off a bit, but not even two seconds past before he wrapped his own arms around her tiny frame.

She was on her tiptoes, her arms around his neck, holding on to this wonderful human being. She had never felt this warmth before.

She felt safe, and cared for. Josh was warm and kind. She could hear his heart beating underneath her ear and his arms instinctively tightened around her.

She knew the unspoken connection they had. She knew he felt it and vice versa. Being in his arms like this, out in this beautiful place, it made her heart swell.

She closed her eyes for a few moments breathing in his wonderful scent, and letting the way it mingled with the fresh smell of the outdoors, and the way his arms felt around her fill every void in her.

She didn't know how long they stood there just hugging each other, but unfortunately her legs were getting tired being on her tiptoes and she regretfully backed up.

When she did she looked up into his blue eyes, one of her favorite things to do, her hands wrapped around his forearms not wanting to let go completely, and gave him her most sincere smile.

Her grin grew larger when he answered with his own smile.

"Thanks again Josh."

"No problem short stuff, no need to thank me. I'd do this all over again just to see that beautiful smile on your face." He whispered, the seriousness and intensity in his voice not lost on her, it made her heart jump a little.

Her hands were still wrapped around his arms and his were slightly on her waist. They were only a foot away from each other, and despite the March chill, she felt like the air around them was warm.

The second he said that, she could feel her heart start to beat a mile a minute, and she let out a small gasp, one she was sure he'd heard. It was so hard to be near him sometimes when he said things like that.

She cared so much about him, he'd been the reason she got over Evan so quickly. The reason why she had felt more alive than any other time in her life. The reason she didn't feel as broken as she used to feel. The reason why she woke up every day with a new sense of hope.

She once again felt like the high school girl that was so head over heels for him. The girl that waited for him to ask her to his junior prom, the girl that loved him ever since she could remember.

She'd dated Evan, and she had loved him, then things happened and she fell out of love; but deep down she knew that what she felt for Josh would always be there.

They'd never really went away; they were just under lock and key. Until these last few months. Her feelings were intense and they consumed her from head to toe.

As she stood there holding on to the one person other than Riley and her mother, who made her feel grounded and loved she realized that she couldn't just contain what she felt anymore. Looking up at his soulful blue eyes she knew that no one would ever make her feel the way Joshua Matthews ever would.

* * *

 **Hey my beautiful people. I want to apologize for this long overdue update. I'd been super busy and I didn't have time to sit down and write. But I hope this chapter makes up for it! And don't worry in the next chapter you will see more camping goodness I promise! I hope yall liked this! Leave me a review! Let me know what yall think and if you have any questions feel free to ask! Love you all and thank you so much for everything! Till next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

It was half past ten; Maya and Josh were sitting on a large log watching the flickering light of the fire Josh had built.

They were sitting next to each other both holding onto small sticks with marshmallows on the ends. Maya was over the moon, she'd never had so much fun being outdoors.

After the tension filled hug (of the best kind) they'd decided to go exploring a little more, they ran into a few people that were hiking as well and Maya took as many pictures as she could till her phone inevitably ran out of battery. She was trying to soak everything in. She even stopped a few times trying to feed squirrels, though that didn't really work out in her favor. Then on one occasion she swore to Josh that there was a raccoon that was eyeing her and kept following them, though that only earned her a laugh from the blue eyed boy. But oh did she keep her eye on that black eyed animal… she knew that thing was following her.

She even picked up a pet rock; Josh had smiled a bit at that one. She giggled at herself remembering Josh's reaction, his blue eyes wide with amusement and curiosity. "What do you need a pet rock for?" He'd asked. She had simply answered. "To bring back a piece of this place, plus they don't allow real pets on campus Josh." He'd had only laughed at her in response. This was her first camping trip and she was determined to make the experience memorable.

Now she was currently twirling the twig in her hand, as she looked at the hypnotizing colors of the fire, warming her cheeks. The soft crackle of the wood burning, the sound of the lake quietly lapping in the background, and the sound of large alpine trees swaying with the wind created such a serene and calm atmosphere where neither she or Josh had to speak nature did all the talking for them.

She'd also occasionally look up at the sky and see the way the night sky was sprinkled with bright stars, and the way the moon casted gorgeous shadows.

One thing she was always so sure about and so confident in was her ability to see things in a different perspective. Times like these were when she felt so fortunate to be an artist, because seeing all this was such an overwhelming experience.

She so wanted to capture this beauty on a canvas as soon as possible.

Though besides all that the best part was sitting next to Josh. After their hug, she felt it, and she was sure he did too. There was a shift in their dynamic. Sure Maya had held hands with him and flirted before, but when she hugged him, she knew there was no way she could ignore what she felt for this guy, she couldn't just keep hiding it.

"What are you thinking about?" Josh whispered interrupting her thoughts.

Maya pulled her marshmallow from the fire and blew on it and took a bite before answering. "Not much, I'm just so overwhelmed about how amazing this place is. This is everything I hoped camping would be. I even don't mind the occasional mosquito that's how much I love this place."

"Well I'm glad, this place is gorgeous. Cory and I always used to come fishing up here with Erick and my dad when Cory and Topanga first moved to New York. We'd come at least once or twice a year; some of my favorite memories were made here." Josh said his eyes still on the fire ahead as Maya chewed on her marshmallow while listening to him. She like the way he looked when he talked about his family, his lips were lifted and his eyes were wide. He loved his family so much, and who wouldn't the Matthew's were wonderful people.

"I've never really asked you how it felt growing up with Matthews being your older brother?"

Josh smirked. "It was great, it is great. Corey is an amazing brother, so is Erick and my sister Morgan they're amazing. I love them more than anything." Josh paused and Maya sensed the change in his demeanor it was a small change but it was there. "It wasn't always rainbows and sunshine though. I mean I'm like way younger than all three of them so I always tried living up to their standards."

Maya's brow crinkled when she heard a twinge of sadness in his voice.

"What do you mean by their standards?" She asked gently.

Josh fiddled with the twig in his hands. "I mean for example, Corey is a teacher changing the lives of his students… I always felt like I had to live up to the high expectations my siblings set in our family."

Maya was shocked, she'd never in a million years think that a guy like Josh would ever be insecure about anything. She felt empathy for him; she knew what it felt like to feel like you were always hidden behind someone else's shadow, and that's precisely why she didn't particularly like that look in his face.

"I think what Mr. Matthews does is great, it's because of him that I was able to get into NYU. Your uncle Erick on the other hand still calls mayonnaise… so I don't know what to tell you about that, but you Josh are just as special."

Josh stopped messing with the stick in his hand and looked up at Maya, his blue eyes hopeful, hanging on every word she said.

"Josh you're amazing in your own right. You're going to NYU for journalism; you have the ability to make a change in the world, a chance for your voice to be heard. You're talented; I mean seriously you have the most amazing voice and you play the guitar." Josh chuckled and she was sure if it were day time he'd be blushing. She beamed being able to make him laugh, she wanted to make him see how great he was. How he didn't need to worry about living under the shadows of his older siblings. She wanted him to see what she saw in him.

"You have this incredible heart, you care so much about your family. You care so much about me…" Maya whispered almost nervous. She saw the way Josh's eyes softened at the last part so she continued, she felt like right now was the perfect moment to really articulate how grateful she was to him, to help him see what she saw.

"Listen Josh if it weren't for you honestly right now I'd be laying down in my dorm room listening to depressing Drake songs on repeat." Maya said her eyes going wide at the thought of listening to sad music all day and wallowing in self pity.

Two seconds passed of complete silence, until they both looked at each other and burst out laughing at her corny joke.

"Short stuff you really know how to make me feel better, and here I thought we were here to try and make you feel better."

"Well who said we can't help each other out?" She asked bumping her shoulder against his.

"That's true." He bent down to fish out two more marshmallows from the bag and handed one to her.

"You know doing this whole bucket list thing… it's really helped me out as much as it's helped you." He spoke softly. Maya lifted her brow in question watching as the color the fire illuminated made his face glow a soft orange.

He turned to look at her and she nodded for him to continue. "Watching you, so full of life, and just seeing the beauty of everything you do despite all the crap you've been through… it just inspires me. It makes me feel better knowing that I was able to be a tool in helping you realize some of your goals. Seeing you happy makes me happy."

Maya felt a squeezing in her heart. Was it possible to like someone so much that it hurt? His words were so full of sincerity and awe she had to wonder if he was really talking about her.

Maya put her stick down and turned so that she was sitting sideways on the log looking at Josh. Before she could even think about it twice, just like the hug, she grabbed onto his free hand and held onto it with both her hands. She tried to ignore the warmth that spread throughout her body when her hands touched his calloused hands. She tried to ignore the little jump her heart gave, or the way that her breath was coming out a little shaky. She tried to ignore the little gasp that he gave when she so boldly took a hold of his hand. She tried, but she failed, because in all honesty any time it came to Josh and her feelings for him she could never ignore them no matter how much she tried. No matter how long she put it off for, she could never replicate what she felt in these special moments with him.

These moments with the added affect of the scenery and the situation just added to the overall feeling she was having. She could see it in his eyes as well. The light of the bonfire in front of them was enough light to show the look in his eyes, the look she was sure mirrored her own.

Her heart gave out another jump when she felt his hand circle around one of hers. She smiled and he returned it in full force.

"If I'm being honest here too… without any mention of me listening to Drake on repeat… I have a lot to thank you for-"

"Maya-" He started, she knew what he was going to say… that she didn't need to thank him, but he was wrong, she did need too. He needed to know how thankful she was to him for giving her that extra push she needed to finally do the things she'd always wanted to do. For being there giving her moral support.

"No, Josh let me get this out. I do need to thank you, I know I've been doing nothing but thanking you since we started this in January, but I just want to be able to articulate it better right now. I know we still have a lot more to do, and I'm genuinely excited for it." She added.

"I just really want you to understand how appreciative I am of you. You say that you've felt like you've always had to live up to your older brothers, because they help the lives of others, because they inspire others. Well you do too Josh. In my biggest time of need, you were there. You were honest enough with me to tell me all the things that I had been neglecting… and I was neglecting to take better care of myself. Now look at where we are." She looked up and gestured all around her, and then she took a deep breath to prepare for the onslaught of sadness that was going to seep through. She knew it was coming. He'd asked her that night in January when he'd walked her back to her dorm after work. She knew the depth of this conversation the continuation of that conversation in January was coming. She wanted this to be a sadness free experience and she wanted to help Josh the way he helped her, but to do that she needed to let him know who much he truly helped her.

"Maya?" Josh whispered.

Her eyes snapped towards him and she realized she'd been in her own little world for a moment there. She sighed and scooted closer towards Josh, still holding onto his warm hand.

"You never really told me how bad it was… I know it's hard for you to talk about and you don't have to, but-"

"It was the second most painful thing that has ever happened to me." She whispered painfully. She felt Josh give her hand a squeeze, and she pulled courage from his small gesture.

"I don't know what happened it was like one minute my mom and Shawn were happy and in love, then the next it was just weird. I don't know how to explain in. They didn't fight, they didn't bicker. I don't think it hurt watching them getting a divorce, I think what hurt the most was knowing that Shawn was going to get up and leave." Maya looked down at their joined hands, and watched the way the shadows the fire created danced on their skin.

"It felt like total crap. He'd promised that he'd stick around no matter what. I lost my biological dad first, than to lose the man that acted more like my dad than any male figure in my life was too much for me to handle. Then I found out Evan cheated on me…"

"He's a douche." Josh grumbled out loud, and despite the seriousness in their conversation he'd managed to put a smile on Maya's face.

"Sorry." He unapologetically apologized.

She let out a small chuckle, the lightness something she needed to continue on with their conversation.

"I ummm it was hard and Riles, not being here it was even harder. She was my safe harbor when my dad had left all those years ago. Now Shawn leaves and not having her, I felt so lost. I felt like there was something wrong with me to have two men that I loved hurt me so deeply… but then you came in to the rescue."

"Maya, I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you when you were going through all of this. I'm sorry that it took me until Riley asked me to check up on you, but if I would've known the extent of your pain I would've been there in an instant you know that right?" Josh was now mirroring the way she was sitting, a sad and determined look in his eyes.

His thumb still continued to trace small circles on her hand. "I know you would've. For a long time the only people who knew about it was Riles, her parents and my mom. We didn't really want anyone else to know what was going on." Maya added.

"Yeah but I'm still sorry I wasn't there for you since the beginning."

"You didn't know Josh, and it's ok because you were there when it mattered. That's why I want you to know how thankful I am to you. The pain Evan caused me… it's not there anymore. The self pity and the self deprecating part of who I used to be isn't there. Going on this small but fulfilling adventure, has taught me to have hope again, something I thought I had lost when Shawn left. You helped me realize that there's beauty in life even after you go through hard times."

"I did all that huh?" Josh said with pseudo smugness.

Maya laughed and punched him lightly in the arm.

"Ow."

"You're so full of yourself Matthews." She laughed.

Josh smiled. "Seriously though short stack, I'm glad I was able to help you in any way I could." Josh's face went from playful back to serious. "When Riles called me that day she said she was worried about you and I didn't even think twice before I headed towards the coffee shop where you worked. When I walked in and saw you- I.." Maya's eyebrows crinkled together in question. Josh looked sad.

"I never wanted to see that look in your eyes again. I could see the hurt in them. From that moment on I decided that I wanted to do whatever possible to make you smile again." He confessed.

Maya felt like she couldn't breathe. The intensity in the moment was too much. His blue eyes were boring into hers. She could feel her heartbeat all the way down her toes. She could hear its pounding in her ears. She felt the warmth that they created with their joined hands.

"Why?" She whispered.

"Why what?" He asked confused.

"Why did you care so much?" She knew he cared. She was best friends with his niece, she practically lived at the Matthews house and growing up she always hung out with him when he'd come visit. She knew he cared… but the look in his eyes. She wanted to know WHY, the real reason. She needed to know that she wasn't the only one.

Josh looked down; he knew what she was asking. She felt a slight tremor and she looked down to see that he was shaking. She tightened her hold on his hand, just like he had given her courage; she'd do the same for him.

He looked back up and this time he looked determined and sure. There was a faint smile on his pouty lips and his blue eyes were beaming.

Her nerve endings were going haywire. She felt as if every single point of feeling lead to their joined hands. She couldn't even bother to be cold by the chilly air. The combined warmth of the fire and Josh was enough to make her comfortable but at the same time super aware of everything she was feeling.

"You know growing up I always loved coming over to the city and visiting my brother every holiday… I love my brother and every time I came and visited it was always the highlight of my year… I never thought it could get better… then one year there was this spunky blonde girl that my niece was best friends with. She was a year younger than me, she had these adorable freckles all over her cheeks, and the most beautiful blue eyes. I remember how pretty she was, and being a ten year old boy I had never thought a girl was pretty up until that moment; I had always thought they had germs." Maya laughed at his boyish memories. "I remember so clearly how pretty she was, but one thing that I can also remember was the image of this girl holding so much pain in her blue eyes." Maya felt her heart stutter, and she could feel the familiar pressure behind her eyes threatening to spill, but she held them in as best as she could, but one stray tear fell down her cheeks, and his soft hand caught it before it could hit her lips.

Maya's watery eyes closed and let the soft feel of his hand sooth her wounds at the memories he was describing.

She opened her eyes and the look in his eyes were so soft. She smiled and nodded softly for him to continue, despite the dampness on her cheek.

"I also remember asking Riley why her friend looked so sad, and she told me that her dad had left her. I was so angry at that blonde girl's dad barely knowing who the girl was. My mom did always say I was always a really headstrong little kid, and it's true because I felt so protective of her from that moment on. So I decided to get my mom's special cookies that I was going to give my brother, and gave them to the girl instead, and then the smile that she gave me was so worth it."

"What happened after that?" Maya asked her eyes still watery, but she knew that a goofy grin was plastered on her face. Listening as he told her the story of how they met. Their hands still completely intertwined.

"Well I spent the rest of the day playing with my niece and her friend, and the sadness in her eyes was gone. After I went back home I couldn't stop thinking about the blonde girl, so every year going over to my brothers was even more fun for me knowing that Riley's best friend was going to be there… but then we all grew up. The blonde girl became this beautiful girl, with the biggest heart I'd ever seen. One that had a huge capacity to love. She was sassy and spunky and very rebellious at one point. I found it endearing, but never let myself go there, because I lived hours away. So I had to act like I didn't like her the way she liked me, when in reality I did."

"That sucks." Maya said.

"Yeah it did. Though when she became a Freshman and I was a sophomore in high school I almost asked her to go on a date with me, but again I freaked and never did. She became a Sophomore and I was a Junior, and I was going to attempt to ask her out again because this time I had a license and could drive up to New York to see her… but I was too late because there was this other guy that had asked her out. It hurt. I liked her a lot, but some other guy had more guts to ask this special girl out before I did." Josh tightened his hands.

"Then I graduated high school and moved to New York to start college in NYU. Things got even harder, but being the martyr that I was thought it was better than not seeing her at all. She was a senior in high school and I was a freshman in college so we hung out more, we became good friends, but deep down he always wanted more with the beautiful girl that he had met all those Christmas' ago, but she was still dating that guy. She graduated high school, and it turned out that she applied to the same college I was going to, so naturally I was ecstatic that she'd be even closer. They continued to be really close friends, but college with her wasn't what he thought it would be because he didn't see her as often. She was either with her boyfriend or Riley and her classes didn't coincide with his. So I saw less of her, but whenever I did see her I always made sure she was smiling and having fun."

"I bet the blonde girl would've wished she could've hung out with you more her freshman year of college." Maya whispered her voice breaking with the emotion she was feeling.

"Yeah, and well her sophomore year of college started and Riley went away to Spain to study abroad for a year and the blonde was alone, because her other childhood friends also went to different colleges. So I was her only friend other than her boyfriend. Then mid sophomore year I got a call from Riley saying that our friend was hurting and without thinking twice I headed down where she worked to see if I could help make her feel better. Just like all those years ago as a ten year old boy, I hated the way her eyes were so sad. The same sadness was etched into her gorgeous face. This time I knew my mom's special cookies couldn't help her so I decided to do whatever I could to make her smile the same way she did when I'd given her those cookies."

Maya felt the damn break and gave out a small little hiccup and the tears fell from her eyes as Josh talked. He scooted closer to her; her tears were now free falling.

"So I asked her to go on the journey of her life, so that she could see herself the way that I saw her from the beginning. So that she could find the recipe to her happiness, which was to do things that inspired her despite the pain someone else caused her. To let her know that people hurting her was because of them and not her, and that they were missing out on having an amazing girl like her in their lives. So that she knew how crazy beautiful, talented, kind and so incredibly funny she is; and to maybe along the way find out that the boy she liked all those years ago, likes her too and I wondered if she still felt the same way." He whispered his voice small, his eyes searching.

Maya's breath stopped. "I can for certain tell you that she feels the exact same way, she always has."

Josh let her hand go and placed it on her face softly caressing her cheek. The warmth in his hands making her close her eyes in contentment.

When she opened her eyes they widened slightly, because he was closer. Their breaths were mingling.

"That's good." He whispered his warm breath hitting her face. She chuckled and grabbed onto the wrist of the hand that was still softly placed on her cheek.

He lightly tightened his fingers on the back of her head his eyes were asking for permission she nodded closing her eyes, and she felt the electricity passing between them, she could feel the pull, then before she knew it he was kissing her.

It was everything she thought it would feel like and more. The kiss wasn't desperate or needy it was soft and delicate full of passion. His lips were soft as they moved with a gentleness she'd never experienced. The chilly air and the warmth of the bonfire created an atmosphere around them that was both burning her and cooling her down creating goose bumps all over her skin. It was insane. She could see the tiny lights flickering behind her closed eyes, and let all her other senses take over as she kissed the boy she's liked since she was a little girl.

His thumb caressed her face as he kissed her and their joined hands between them were clutching onto each other. She could feel the beating in her chest growing stronger and stronger with every move of his lips against hers.

Every time their lips met it was like a small delicious shock of electricity. She let go of his wrist and his hand and wrapped her arms around his neck to deepen their kiss, as his let go of her face and wrapped around her tiny waist to bring her closer to him.

She knew from that moment on that her real adventure had just begun.

* * *

 **WOOOOO! They finally kissed! Ok guys I hope you liked this chapter… I'm not going to lie it was a bit difficult for me to write only because I wanted it to be as perfect as possible. I hope I was able to deliver on their first ever kiss! Also I've had a lot of my readers message me on Tumblr and I wanted to know it you're part of my Tumblr fam leave a hashtag on your reviews #TumblrFam so that I know who yall are! And to all my readers I love every single one of you thank you so much for your support on this fanfic its crazy and I love it! I love yall and don't forget to leave me a review! Let me know how much yall liked it or if you have any questions! See yall next time!**


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